Dominic's 2-month checkup -and- Hard-stuff Parenting 101

Before I get into the point of the theme of this post, let me just give you a couple of pictures and a little commentary.

Dominic has been doing more and more every day, and smiling and enjoying more activities. Here's Dominic on Daddy's shoulders on Saturday 11/24. We had planned to go to Catalina after Thanksgiving, but the seas got rough so we hung around home and played.

Then on Sunday, Dominic was cooing up a storm. Here, he's dressed all warm from the stroller walk we just took to the park, and he was telling Daddy all about how he'd like to do that again sometime soon. (Ok, that's what we think he was saying.)

On Tuesday night, we went with Gram, Granddaddy and the Etheridge cousins to see the Christmas tree lighting and carol performers in the park across from South Coast Plaza.

Dominic seemed to like "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" the best! (when he wasn't snoozing)

On Wednesday, he was in the best mood ever! But alas, it wasn't to last. It was time for his 2-month checkup, which means lots and lots of shots... yuck!

The good news: He is really healthy and growing big and strong! He is nearly 13 lbs (ok, 2.2oz short: 12lbs 13.8oz)! He is nearly 150% of his birthweight. He has put on 3 inches in length, too. Some of his newborn clothes are already getting too short or too tight. It's exciting but I'm a bit melancholy that we are already saying goodbye to the tiniest version of our baby angel.

Here's a picture of Dr. Pellman examining Dominic. Then... it was time for the batch of vaccinations... a total of 5 shots! Thanks to an experimental version of one of the vaccines, we were able to knock it down to 3 pokes, but he still hated it. He cried during the shots, but right away he was smiling and cooing and supporting his weight on his legs again. On the way to Gram & Granddaddy's house, a trip we planned so they could help us with what we were expecting would be a cranky feverish Dominic, we started to wonder if we had over-prepared. But then at 4:15pm, he woke himself up from a sound sleep with a bloodcurdling scream of pain from his sore leg muscles. For the next hour he cried bloody murder, and for the following hour, he slept and kept waking up bellowing every time he would make the slightest move of his legs, so we decided to give him his first dose of baby Tylenol ever. Afterward, we measured his temp at 100.4. Awwww! Gram's awesome snuggly hugs and singing were the only things that could console him.

We thought sure it would be a loooooong night, but he ended up sleeping great. His fever actually increased to 101.9 after the Tylenol wore off, but with another dose it decreased under 101. This morning, he had stopped freaking out every time he moved his legs.

So today, we decided to accompany Daddy to the Brea Mall and walk around and do Christmas shopping while Daddy got his hair cut. Dominic really enjoyed the lights and sounds of the mall despite his slight lingering temperature. (Here's Dominic checking out the food court with Nana.)

I consider each of these events some introductory lessons to the challenges of parenting. The way I see it, there are several things to consider when you're deciding a course of action for your child: what God wants (not always readily apparent, but if you can figure it out is clearly always what you should do), what you want, what your spouse wants, what the child wants, what various other family/friends/onlookers want, and then what is the healthy thing to do. Then you make your decision based on those factors.

For example: When we were leaving the mall, Dominic was tired and cranky and really just wanted to be cuddled. Lord knows cuddling him is certainly what I wanted to do! And for a brief moment, I was tempted to just hold him (and kiss him and kiss him) in my lap for the drive home and say balderdash to the carseat. But that would have been really irresponsible, even though it is what both he and I wanted. No matter how careful we were on the drive home, some fool could run a red light and then I'd be really glad Dominic was strapped into his seat.

Earlier at Dr. Pellman's, I wanted to just explain that we'd be really careful and make sure Dominic doesn't get exposed to polio or rubella or whatever else he was needing a vaccine for. I didn't want him to have to go through that pain, and he certainly was in agreement with me! But again, that would not have been prudent, to quote a famous comedian quoting our former President.

Even earlier, when we went to the tree-lighting show... well, I probably sort of failed that test. It was chilly and late. Eddie was hungry and wouldn't be able to eat until after the show. But I wanted to go, and Gram and the girls wanted me to go and to bring Uncle Eddie and Dominic. So we went. Now, I'm not going to say we didn't have a good time because we did... even Dominic and Daddy. But it was something that a better parent may have decided to save for next year when Dominic might be able to enjoy it more. It's so hard to say no! Especially when you have such great and loving company!

But there was one time when all the planets lined up and what I wanted is what he wanted is what Daddy wanted and was the healthy thing and likely what God wanted us to be doing, and that was the fun time we had just being a family and playing together at home. My best memories of childhood are of that very thing. (Thanks, Mom and Dad!)

So I'm going to thank God for those times it's easy because what we should do is exactly what we all want to do. And I'm going to try to keep my eyes open for those moments I should decide to put God's will and the healthy/smart thing above my own wishes... and Dominic's wishes. I'm sure it's only going to get more difficult, but God and Daddy (I mean Eddie) and my other earthly angels will help me. And perhaps those of you reading this will say a quick prayer for me to get most things right. :-)

Ode to Family

This so should have been my first post. But it's appropriate that it is going up for Thanksgiving. I am long overdue in doing a tribute to Dominic's extended family. From the first day, we have had so much support and help that it's about time I gave these Earthly Angels a mention.

My mom: Martie Etheridge ("Gram"). All I can say is wow. Did you know that even though Gram was there right from the moment Dominic made his appearance in the delivery room, she didn't get to hold him until he was 3 days old? You know WHY? Because her daugher (me) was so paranoid about making sure everyone ELSE got their turn that I never realized she hadn't got hers. And my mom just waited patiently and didn't swoop in and take over. Nope. She cooked a huge stroganoff dinner for everyone for Dominic's homecoming, and I never offered for her to hold the baby. What a louse I am! Even then, Mom spent 5 nights in our guest room, waking up every two hours to help me (finally getting a chance to hold him). I felt bad to be disturbing her and tried to do it myself and send her back to bed, but I bet she would've loved it if I would have let her fuss over her first grandson (and her own baby, me), even if it was 3am.

She has really used AMAZING restraint... she has so much wonderful insight and so much wonderful experience, yet she tries so hard to let me find my own way. When she makes a suggestion, I often retort with some anecdote I read in a book or something one of the "experts" has said about knocking down an "old-fashioned" technique. Yet, she keeps coming, keeps helping, keeps loving me and trying to give me some confidence as a mother myself. How on earth can I ever thank her enough? I thank God that she is here and I pray she will be here long after Dominic has his own children to help me learn to be as fantastic, patient, and inspiring of a Grandmother as she is. Here is Mom giving Dominic his first full bottle, which was November 6. Isn't she beautiful? Even moreso inside than out.

My mother-in-law: Cleo Masingill ("Nana"). She has seriously been here sweeping up dog hair and making sure I am eating probably 3 times a week since Dominic's arrival. She loves Dominic so much, and it shows. She changes him and holds him and pushes him around the house in the bassinette. She worries he is warm enough. And she, too, puts up with me and tries not to tell her opinions but bites her tongue and just waits to be asked.

One day, Dominic was going through a "growth spurt" where he was eating and eating (and throwing up and throwing up) voraciously for like 6 hours. When Eddie called to see how I was doing, I tried to sound like I had it all together on the phone, but Eddie saw right through me. He asked if I wanted him to call someone to help me, but I said no NO! About 10 minutes later, Cleo called, saying she "just happened to be in the area" (which is actually about 40 minutes from her home in Buena Park... hmmm). And she and Eddie's sister, Maryke, came over and sat with the baby while I showered and ate. I'm so blessed to know I can count on my own mother and father to deal with my idiosyncracies, but it is a really wonderful feeling to know the in-laws will come to my rescue, too.

My brother and sister-in-law: Uncle John & Auntie Karla Etheridge. As if raising 3 perfect Angel girls wasn't enough of a gift from them to the human race, these guys see to it that I have lots of encouragement, extra hands, and an invitation to dinner anytime I need them. The other night when Eddie was away at an SC game for dinnertime, they invited me for brisket. Due to my ill-planned feed-and-leave timing, I arrived an hour after dinner was to have started. There was dinner, all Saran-wrapped with love, waiting for me, and the whole Etheridge family welcomed me with open arms rather than being bent out of shape for my tardiness. Anyone can tell Karla is dying to hold Dominic whenever she sees him, but if she has even the slightest sniffle, she restrains herself to keep him safe. Karla has also had the magic touch when it comes to working on Dominic accepting a pacifier. And John always has some little kernel to feed my soul.. some word to prop me up so I can make another run at parenting as well as he and Karla have. The support from both of them means so much.

The Grandpas: My dad, Johnny Etheridge ("Granddaddy") and Eddie's stepdad, Jim Masingill ("Nano"). Not only do these guys put up with their wives being MIA, sacrificing their own dinners, home maintenance, and movie dates so the Grandmas can feed me and clean my house, but they themselves are over here constantly making sure Eddie and I and our new little boy have everything working right and all our dreams coming true. Just a few days ago, I had complained to my dad about a gross tree we have in our back yard and the next thing I know, a beautiful avocado tree appeared, soon to be transplanted into the twisted tree's vacant spot. And just today, Jim was stapling up lights to our patio cover to make sure our Thanksgiving would glitter just perfectly. They, together, made sure the downstairs bathroom remodel got finished before Dominic arrived. And both of them are such doting Grandpas to little Baby D! Most of all, they give the most loving hugs and look with loving eyes that make me feel safe and cherished. (By the way, Jim wanted me to mention that Dominic was able to be sleeping comfortably in this picture because by this moment in the the Thanksgiving Day USC football game, the Trojans were well ahead of the Arizona State Sun Devils.)

The Etheridge Cousins: Kaylin, Kira & Karoline. These guys are tempted to fight over who gets to hold Dominic first, last, longest, etc. But instead, they cooperate and take some of the pressure off me to keep things fair and decide. I wonder if they can fully grasp how helpful it is to me for them to be so nice to each other? With Dominic, they are so attentive, careful, and above all, near-perfect examples of sweetness and respect that I hope he will emulate. My favorite thing of all is how they actually run to kiss and greet me whenever I see them. There's not much can make a person feel better than that enthusiastic, warm reception. And we never part without all three making a special effort to kiss me, Uncle Eddie, and Dominic and to say "I love you."

Kaylin is nearly babysitting age, and she is very responsible and detailed so I know she will be a fantastic sitter when the time comes. She is always helping the other girls with pointers on how to position their arms to keep his head supported and all.

Kira can't take her eyes off Dominic whenever he's around her. She always asks to hold him, and she looks deeply into his eyes in what seems to be true love whenever she does get a turn. But when the answer has to be no and she can't hold him for whatever reason, she never pouts. She is always understanding and patient for her next opportunity.

Karoline is not only a great cousin to Dominic, holding him and pushing the stroller very carefully when it's her turn, but she is also tuned into Aunt Maggie (that's me) and is always looking for ways to do helpful things for me. She massages my shoulders and arms; she carries a bag I may be struggling with; she runs to get me a glass of water when I'm immobilized feeding Dominic. Really, all of the girls have been taught so well to unselfishly put their attention to others, and it makes them a sheer joy to be around (whether I'm getting fussed over myself or whether they are fussing over someone else). Totally gives me hope in their generation.

My sister-in-law (Eddie's little sister), Maryke Santizo ("Tia Nini"). Maryke often appears with Cleo to take care of Dominic so I can rest. She never seems to mind that the minute she arrives, she often gets saddled with diaper duty. She has the unique perspective on life with Eddie, and her stories and insights always help me appreciate him more. Like my own brother, Maryke always has something encouraging to say, and those comments boost my confidence and help me keep a positive attitude when I'm running on less sleep than I need. And like my sister-in-law, Karla, Maryke has a remarkable delicate and loving demeanor when she's holding the little prince.

There are lots of other family that I should mention, but if I kept typing until everyone who helped, cooked, visited or sent advice, wishes, or gifts was represented, then this entry would never get posted. All of you who read this, please do know how much your love, support, encouragement and time has meant to Eddie, me, and baby Dominic. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Dominic's Coo Coo (NOT "Dominic is Cuckoo"!)

Dominic is really doing a lot of talking! Ok, not necessarily talking as you and I do, but making lots of different sounds and getting to know how his mouth and tongue work. Here's an example. Sorry it's sideways, but I can't figure out how to make a video rotate.

The Contingent Mobile

On Halloween, my friend Heidi gave me a book she had read during her daughters' toddling years called "Baby Minds". I haven't got through the whole book yet, but what I've read so far has been very interesting. One story was about how babies love to realize they have some control over their environment, and one way they suggest to help them is to set up a "contingent mobile". You know the little mobile over baby's crib that plays music and turns around? Well, they suggest that you attach that to baby's leg or arm with a soft ribbon and rather than use the crank to move the mobile, let the baby do it. The mobile's movement is contingent on the baby's action.

So I attach his leg to the mobile with my bathrobe belt. And sure enough, in no time he has figured out how to get the mobile to move. Seems like he's having fun, huh?


Speaking of Halloween, here is a picture of our little "sweet pea" with Daddy as pea farmer...














And here is a picture of the Etheridge cousins and Heidi's girls with Dominc at the Downtown HB Halloween Street Faire.


And another of Dominic's Gram & Granddaddy working the REMAX booth at the Faire. It's easy to see how Dominic turned out so cute with such cute grandparents! :-)

A Couple of Pictures

This is sort of a strange picture to be posting first - I mean the first picture should probably be just the Cupcake himself in some cute outfit with his eyes open and a cooing expression, right? But I thought this might be a good one since we're sort of on the middle-of-the-night feedings subject. This photo was taken the night between 11/8 and 11/9, which was the night I got 6 hours and 11 minutes sleep. It's a self portrait of Dominic and me at a moment I wanted to remember forever. You can't tell my left arm is up taking the picture, huh! This was one of those moments my heart was about to burst out of my chest. I guess that feeling of nirvana is part of what happens after a nearly full night's sleep. Haha.

Tonight, Dominic actually has slept great, from 10:30pm to 2:45! So I did pretty well executing the sequence without any forgotten steps -- due to the over 4 hours of sleep that has tuned up my brain perhaps?

I didn't make any entry at 2:45 because I was busy reading my friend Bianka's blog (check it out here). She had her baby last night in Florida and the first pictures are already up! I've been absolutely riveted by her blog - she's a really fantastic writer which I'm sure you'll agree if you check it out.

I will add one more picture before I go hit the hay. This is from our first trip to Sears photo studio:

I need to figure out if I can get this picture to show up statically at the top of the blog. Maybe after a little more sleep.

Thank you again for stopping by!

The Wakeup Sequence

Ok. (Why do I feel lke starting every post with "ok"? Hopefully I don't start every conversation that way...) it's 3:42am. That was just about 2 hours to the minute from when he stopped eating. I must admit, I thought it would be a short sleep because it didn't seem like he ate much last time.

In case you're interested what the routine is, here's the sequence:

I awake to the sound of a tiny disturbance in the rhythm of Dominic's breathing, which 8 weeks ago I would've easily slept through but today might as well be the sound of a 747 landing on my head. I lay there, my eyes like saucers, listening for the next sound, hoping it will be something between nothing (which means I have to hope that I'm actually competent at baby-CPR from simply reading/memorizing the instructions from one of the zillion pregnancy books I read) and a whimper (which means I have to get up and feed him). What I'm wishing for as I lay there is for the breathing to return to its normal rhythm and after that, the superhuman ability to fall back to sleep instantly from this state of possible emergency. I get the whimper. Rats!

I look at the clock. Well, I'm supposed to remember to look at the clock but I frequently don't. So yesterday I just moved it for the 75th time to another new place in the bedroom hoping that I will actually be able to see it from wherever I am when I realize I forgot. After I look at the clock, which I remembered this time, I try to remember what time it was when he stopped eating last. 2 hours. Darn. The calculation goes like this: if less than 1.5 hours, I begin hoping the whimper goes away and start worrying why does he need to eat so soon if it doesn't go away. If greater than 3 hours, I say quick prayer of thanks to God for such a long rest and continue the wakeup sequence. If between 1.5 and 3 hours, I say quick prayer of thanks to God that Dominic is still breathing, adding request for next sleep to exceed 3 hours, and continue wakeup sequence.

Next, I go to the bathroom. That is, I go if I remember to go before I pick Dominic up from the bassinette. Are you starting to see a pattern? It seems that even though I've been going through this sequence what feels like 10,000 times since 7 weeks ago, I still manage to forget at least one of the steps. Sleep deprivation? Hormones (or lack thereof)? Senility? This shall be one of the questions I ask God if we get to ask questions in Heaven.

It seems that Dominic's hearing is just as bionic as mine has become, for with the first tiny rustle of the comforter as I move to make my way from the bed to the bathroom, his whimper increases. (My theory is that the increase is what makes me forget to go.) After my restroom break, which these days the experience is just beginning to show signs of returning to normal, I try to remember to stop at the sink, fill the water glass, and carry it to the end table Eddie has set up as my feeding station before picking up Dominic. I remember to do this about 33% of the time.

Slippers on, water at the ready, I put on my glasses (this is the step I forgot this time), put a ponytail in my hair (another frequently forgotten step) and then pick up the now-squirming Angel from Heaven. "Dang, he is cute," I think to myself, "even in this pitch blackness!" We walk from my bedroom to his bedroom trying not to wake Daddy. (Tonight, Daddy is in Las Vegas for the N.A.R. convention, his first night away from the Cupcake, so I didn't have to worry about that.) As I place him on the changing table pad, he begins to remember we have this diaper-changing pit stop before mealtime, and he starts to cry. I've tried everything to stop this cry, which usually only happens during nighttime feedings, but to no avail. Talking or singing to him, leaving his blanket around his upper half, picking him back up for a moment, playing with his feet... everything I've tried so far just seems to increase the volume, probably because all are just postponing mealtime further. I'm hoping he'll someday appreciate that meals are a lot more enjoyable when your bottom is clean, but for now, I just hope the neighbors are insulated from his hysteria.

Once the diaper is changed and I pick him up, the cries vanish in exchange for him beginning to nuzzle and sometimes suck on whatever of my skin is most handy: arm, neck, etc. It is usually right about this second that I realize I forgot to go to the bathroom, if I forgot, so I ask myself if I should set him back in the bassinette and go (and thus bring on a cry that could wake the dead) or just try to tough it out until he's done eating. At this moment, I usually don't have to go very badly, so I usually decide to tough it out, forgetting (yes, there it is again) that I will likely regret this decision in about 10 seconds.

I carry the nuzzler to the reclining chair. I sit, attempting to get the feeding pillow thingie (called "My Brest Friend") situated around me with one hand as I hold him with the other. The pillow thing is really a 2-handed job (note to self: attempt to invent a 1-handed breastfeeding pillow), so sometimes it ends up on the floor. In this case, I have to do one of those deep knee bends with the 12-lb Angel that I hope is a) giving me the great legs that I hope will go with the svelt figure that I hope the breastfeeding is giving me, and b) adding years to my life so I can live to see Dominic married and have a grandchild even though I waited until I was an ancient relic to have him. Dominic's sense that eating is imminent is beginning to transform him into a panting, squirming pirana. So I click the pillow fastener, prepare the "head side" by putting a small pillow under it and placing a clean cloth diaper on top to catch milk dribbles or attacks of spit-up, position him, wrestle his bottom arm out of the way to down between my stomach and his, and get him latched on before the transformation is complete. Those of you who know me know that I am not exactly the fastest gun in the west, so the latch-on often resembles the scene in Jurassic Park where the T-Rex ravenously chomps down on the outhouse with the attorney in it. 2 seconds of excruciating pain later, all is well! Dominic and mommy are both happy!

That is, until I realize I forgot to look at the clock and can't see it (seems I have that problem licked with the new clock location, though). Or that I forgot my glasses (which will explain why this post might have some severe typos in it). Or that I realize I really do have to go to the bathroom after all. Or that I forgot the water glass. Or that I forgot something else that is now about 1/2 inch beyond my reach. Nevertheless, I usually manage to fight off the frustration with the feeling that can only come from snuggling with a living, breathing gift from God. I thank God again for this amazing opportunity and, being the overemotional schlub that I am, I struggle not to cry with joy as I pray.

I still can't believe this is real.

Dominic has been finished eating for nearly an hour now, so that means I'm missing that all-important sleep time. Guess I'd better sign off. Wish me 3+ hours before the next entry!

Welcome!

Welcome!

Ok. Welcome anyone and everyone to my first blog. My name is Maggie and this blog is all about life in the Ureno family with our new son, Dominic Edward. Dominic (a.k.a. Cupcake, Big D, Baby D, Mr. Man, Precious Angel, Mr. Grunts [sung to the Grinch theme song], and a myriad of other names he will not likely allow us to continue past his 4th birthday) arrived on September 24, 2007, at 10:24pm (9/24 at 10:24... coincidence?), which makes him 7 weeks and 2 days old today (if we are counting today as Wednesday, November 14.. which it is.. except that it is only 1:26am right now which means my body still considers that it is "Tuesday night".

I figured that the best time to make blog entries will be during these middle-of-the-night feedings. Then when Dominic figures out that nighttime is for sleeping, I'll have to figure out some other plan for making entries.. most likely during daytime feedings since typing on the computer is one of the only productive things I can do while feeding him (thanks to this handy computer desk my parents presented me with that has the perfect shape to snuggle up to the round nursing pillow thingie). Ok, if Eddie was reading over my shoulder I think he would say that feeding our son is pretty productive. What I meant was that computer typing is the only other productive thing I can do while engaged in the productive activity of feeding the Angel from Heaven.

Ok now he is done eating for the moment so I'd better go for now because, while it is tempting to sit here and try to type 7 weeks of catch up info, I know I most likely have 2-4 hours of sleep time starting when he stops, so I have to go for it when I can! So I will make another post later... maybe as late as 5:30am! Wow that would be great! (Incidentally, the longest he has gone without eating so far is 6 hours and 11 minutes. Ok that's the last thing I'm saying and now time for sleeping!)

Thank you so much for stopping by and I hope you enjoy the adventures of Discovering Dominic with Eddie and me.