A Baby's Prayer

Here's a poem that was in the card we got from Aunt Phyllis that I wanted to share with you.

A Baby's Prayer

Dear Lord, I am so little. Still, I’m not sure why I’m here.
I know I am a child of Yours; that much is all that’s clear.
I do not have the words, as yet, to tell these ones nearby
That I’m homesick for Your presence, Lord,
And so, sometimes, I cry.
For I’ve so lately come from You to tarry here awhile
That Heaven’s light still clings around
The corners of my smile.
Give them eyes to see it, Lord. Bless them as they do.

And help them raise me knowing I’m a precious trust from You.

C'mon Mom!

Hi everyone!  I just wanted to make a quick post to apologize for not posting in a while.  I have a bunch of half-done posts and I am going to sign off of this one to finish at least a few of them today.  

With Christmas coming, I found myself busier than I have been since Dominic arrived.  This is quite ironic, since I have felt busier than ever before in my whole life since he arrived (yet feeling like I am accomplishing very very little and virtually nothing on my todo list such as thank-you notes for all your amazing and thoughtful gifts for Dominic as well as publishing blog entries!)

Anyway, I will get to the posts now.  Just wanted to say thank you for your patience and hang in there for some new news!  --Love Maggie

Winter Solstice

Before Dominic was born, I thought I should pack in as much real estate work as I could, figuring that once he was born I would be "just sitting around the house" and able to do all sorts of things. HAHAHAHA.

On December 7, my friend who is writing the blog that inspired me to write this one did an explanation of her day and how hard it is to get stuff done with the new baby. She started out saying "Let's say I sleep 10 hours a day." And then went about telling how the remaining 14 hours were spent.. 7 hours of feeding, 4 hours of diapering and educating baby, which leaves 3 hours for eating and hygiene. 0 hours for anything else.

When I read that, I could relate pretty well, but I couldn't believe she worked in 10 HOURS of sleep! I was sleeping only about 4 hours and still not accomplishing much. My big achievement was completing the entire humungous stack of Dominic's and my laundry that piles up due to being spitup on. My mom kept telling me to "sleep when he sleeps", but I couldn't resist the temptation to stay awake to wrap a Christmas present, change the cat box, or actually brush my teeth.

On the night between December 20 and December 21 - the longest night of the year, the Winter Solstice - Eddie and I decided to try letting Dominic sleep in his own room in his big crib. He had been sleeping longer in his bassinette (and growing longer in his bassinette), and Eddie had read in the "What to Expect" book that babies can benefit from being in their own room so the parents don't turn a small stir into a full-blown wakeup. So we decided to give it a try.

And on the VERY FIRST NIGHT...

Dominic slept 12 hours !!!

Of course, I didn't sleep a single minute that night.   Here's a picture of what I did...

I stared at the monitor for 12 hours non-stop.  I kept nudging Eddie and asking him if it looked like Dominic was breathing.  He would mumble that he was sure everything was fine and I should go to sleep.  Every now and then Dominic would stir and I would be both relieved and concerned he might wake up.  He didn't.

Here is how the cupcake looked in the morning after 12 hours of sleep.  Sooo happy!  (There will be no pictures of Mama from that morning.  Can you say "crow's feet"?)

Christmas Joy

Here are some images from Dominic's first Christmas:

"Candy canes and icicles,

music and Christmas lights.

Giving gifts to ones we love

is our heart's delight,

for God so loved the

 world that He gave his only Son

that we might have the gift of love

every day and not just one.

We have Christmas joy in our hearts to stay.

Not once a year, but every day.

We have Christmas joy, the gift that never ends.

Love keeps on giving, keeps on living here within."

Dominic in church watching his cousins sing in the Christmas Eve service.  Cousin Kaylin had a solo on "Silent Night".
Dominic after the church service - matching with his cousins but apparently eager to sleep so Santa will come!

Waking up Christmas morning with a smile!

Christmas day at Nano & Nana's house.  

From Head to Toe

As I'm sitting here feeding Dominic, I always notice these little details about him.  I mean, he's laying there in my lap, and I do so enjoy this time I have to just study every inch of him.  So I thought I'd share with you what I see starting with the very top of his head to the very tip of his toes.

He has lots of medium brown hair on his head, and a natural "part" on his left side (our right in photos).  Even though he is losing his hair, he still has quite a bit.  His scalp is mostly really soft, but there is a patch about 3 inches wide starting from the hairline on his forehead back to where his natural part ends where his scalp is covered with thick flaky skin someone told me is called "cradle cap".  It's not very noticeable, especially right after he takes a bath and is really clean.  People who have noticed it tell me that his is not as bad as most.  I don't worry about it. As the flakes come off, they take little clumps of hair with them, so he might be bald on top for a little while when it's all over.

Over his left ear you can see where I have cut his hair.  The hair there used to hang over the top of his ear, so I figured he wouldn't miss it if I cut a little to put in his baby book.  It wasn't really his "first haircut".. just a little lock of hair so we'll be able to look back at this first fine baby hair and remember.

His ears are a lot bigger than they were when he was born, but they still lay pretty flat against his head.  They stay pretty clean although with all the growing, I have to use a Qtip to brush away some of the molted skin about once a week.

His eyes and eyebrows look so much like Daddy's!  Above his left eyebrow is a vertical line of pink that somedays you don't notice but other days looks like a scratch.  Dr. Pellman says that is a birthmark, as well as the pink scratched-looking section on his right eyelid.  With as much as he pokes his fingers in his eyes while sucking his thumb, he occasionally has a real poke mark in addition to the birthmarks, so I try to keep his nails very short.  

We debated keeping hand mitts on him (Dr. Pellman says we have to be careful he doesn't scratch his cornea), but with the thumb being such an important element in the sleep-all-night schedule, we opted to forgo the mitts at night.  Believe it or not, a couple of drops of breastmilk on a scratch or poke mark moistens them and heals them up in no time!  This stuff is better than neosporin, which you couldn't put on an eyelid anyway.  Just another amazing breastmilk fact!

Dominic definitely has at least one dimple.  We see the one on his left cheek almost every time he smiles now, which is - thank God - quite a bit!  His nose and mouth... it's debatable whether they are Eddie's or from my side of the family.  I think his mouth looks a lot like my brother, Dominic's Uncle John.  But the dimple definitely comes from Daddy.

He doesn't have any millia (tiny white dots like baby whiteheads) on his face any more, but there are one or two left on his arms.  I remember he used to have one or two on a couple of fingers at the cuticle line, but those are gone too.  His face does still have a couple of minor "baby acne" bumps (I bet they'd go away faster if my diet was healthier - the new year's resolutions ought to help there), but overall the skin on his face is really soft and smooth.  Fine little hairs grow all the way down where a sideburn would be.  I think he will have thick hair like Daddy's but it doesn't look (yet) like it will be as dark.

Many of the pictures on the blog look like Dominic doesn't have much of a neck, but he really does.  I work hard at keeping patooey (my word for spitup) cleaned out of there!  When he is in a sitting up position, his head tends to compact into his shoulders, but laying down you can see he loves to stretch his head up and show off his nice (clean) neck.

I have already noticed his shoulders are becoming broader.  When I feed him, he rests on his side on this doughnut-shaped pillow I got at the family shower from Frank & Yumiko Lee called "My Breast Friend".. haha.  Now that he is growing, I sometimes have to put a folded cloth under his head because the distance from his shoulder to the side of his cheek is far enough that, if resting on the feeding pillow without additional support, his head will tilt uncomfortably.  Sometimes during the day feedings I don't put the cloth so Dominic is forced to work his neck muscles to stay in his most comfortable feeding position.

His hands, in my opinion, are still larger than I would expect relative to his overall size.  I guess that might come from me, as I have pretty long fingers.  The knuckles on the backs of his hands are dimpled, and the skin is amaaaaazingly soft.  His nails grow quickly, and the nail beds are really pink as well as the skin of his fingers just around his nails is particularl

y brown - a characteristic from his latin heritage.  He still occasionally keeps his hands in very tight fists, although that limits thumb access, plus he is much more likely to hold them in a more relaxed, open position.

He has a nice, round belly!  Definitely a good eater!  His belly button - can't tell if it is exactly an "innie" or an "outie" - is still a bit dark and bruised-looking, but I'm sure it will continue to change color as it heals.  His thighs are thick and chubby cute, and are covered with rolls and rolls of skin.  All those rolls of extra skin will likely come in handy if his legs are going to grow to match his giant feet.  From day 1 the little newborn socks have not fit him.  We'd put them on just to try to keep his feet warm and the heels would never go much further than halfway from his toes to his heel.  His big toe is longer than the other toes on both feet.  Will it stay that way or will his second toe eventually be longer like on my feet?  Only time will tell!

He has dry patches on his knees and elbows.  I put baby oil on them when I change him, but it doesn't seem to make much of a difference.  Hmm I bet breastmilk would fix that...  Mental note to try it.

His dark olive complexion is not as dark as Daddy but not as light as Mama.  He looks best in dark colors, and although  I bet he is not likely to sunburn easily when he is older, we still keep a little fisherman's hat on him when we go out on a sunny day (which are most days in California). When I hold him naked, his behind has little dimples like cellulite but they don't show up when he's laying down.  He hasn't had a single occurrence of diaper rash (yet?), and I attribute that to Dr, Pellman's advice to "slop on the Vaseline" (he says petrolium jelly is better than any dedicated diaper rash product), my friend Michelle Garofolo's advice to air-dry his tooshie after wet-wiping and before diapering it, and my mom's advice to change him immediately when I notice he's wet.  We've definitely moved on to a size 2 diaper.

So that is our little tu tu (as in "you you" in Spanish) as he is today.  Maybe next post I will put some comparison pictures so you can see how he has grown.

Bye for now, and thank you again for reading!

FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

How old is Dominic now?
11 weeks 2 days today (December 12)

Do you have him on a schedule?
No. Kay Gregg, an RN who we've been seeing for 'lactation consultation' has coached us to just feed him on demand and assures us he will get on a schedule himself.

Is he sleeping through the night? (or Are you getting any sleep?)
Remarkably, Kay is right! Just last Sunday the 9th, he went to sleep at 8pm and didn't wake up to eat again until 4am. That's 8 hours! The "What to Expect the First Year" book says that even on the longest-sleeping nights, breastfed babies might have to wake up once in the middle of the night to eat (i.e. 4am), but I think that might just be God's way of keeping Mom's boobs from exploding.

We have had a couple of nights of last-feeding-around-midnight and next feeding after 5am. So we are actually doing very well in the sleep department. I try to nap every couple of days in the middle of the day with Dominic. Those of you who know me from before Baby D, you know that I had the sleeping habits of Dracula anyway... so this lifestyle suits me ok. One tough factor, though, is that Dominic wakes up at 6:30am just about every day and is up for the day. Dracula is trying to learn to "do" mornings.

I have one request of you readers.. does anyone recommend a good under-eye-dark-circle coverup product? ;-)

Does he take a pacifier?
As I mentioned in an earlier post, Auntie Karla has been most successful getting our little cupcake to take a pacifier. Gram has also had moderate success. For most of the rest of us, he may keep it in for 30 seconds, and for that you pretty much have to apply light pressure to get it to stay in. Then he tries to spit it out but he doesn't fuss or cry much about it.

The good news (bad news?) is that he has found his thumb! This has just happened in the past week. I have started an entry about that and will add video and post it soon.

You look great (a.k.a. Have you lost all your baby weight yet?)
Well, today I weighed exactly the same amount as before I got pregnant with Dominic. The bad news is that I hadn't lost all the weight from the earlier miscarriage when this pregnancy started. So bottom line is that I still have a ways to go. I can fit in some of my pre-pregnancy "fat clothes" though. Which is good because the maternity clothes are all a bit big around the waist.

How's breastfeeding going?
Even though I have had a few hurdles, a few days of soreness, a few days of engorgement, a few days of leaking, I totally love breastfeeding. I know for sure I haven't had as many challenges as most, and even on my sorest day, I haven't experienced any "wounds".

I mentioned I've been seeing this lactation consultant, Kay Gregg. Whenever we visit her, she weighs Dominic with nothing on but a clean diaper. Then I feed him and then she weighs him again to see how many ounces of milk he is getting. Crazy huh? The very first time Kay ever measured how much Dominic was drinking, he took only two-tenths of an ounce! That was when he was not even 3 full days old yet. I haven't been to Kay for a while to measure what he's doing now, but I would guess it's about 3 ounces each feeding.

I try to pump some every day, so I have a little supply going of breastmilk for babysitting days. This also helps with the worry I have from one day to the next that I'm either not producing enough or producing too much. I have to be careful not to pump longer than 5 or 8 minutes, because if I go for 10, then the next day I am walking around with two 10-pound rocks where I used to have boobs. It's amazing how God has this supply-and-demand thing coordinated so perfectly!

I hope we can continue for the one year that is recommended for Dominic's healthiest start. A friend of mine has managed to continue a bit past that with just one feeding a day right before bed, and I think that sounds great to me. Maybe I can continue that until he is 1.5 or so. (Don't worry, I won't be one of those people who's still breastfeeding their kindergartener!)

What size diaper is he using now?
We are just transitioning him to size 2. 2 already! Ouch. Being 8lbs and 4oz at birth, though, meant he wasn't in the size N (newborn) for long. Although it feels like he wasn't in the size 1's for long either.

Are you going to give him formula/bottles so you can go out?
You may remember, from an earlier post, a picture of Gram (my mom) giving him his first full bottle. Since then, we have given him about one bottle per week and he has taken to bottle feeding very well.

I have been out one night with my girlfriends when Daddy and Gram watched/fed him, once out with Gram and some friends to a Christmas thing when Granddaddy took care of him and later that same day to an after-party for a USC football game (with Daddy) when Gram & Granddaddy came to our house to finish the babysitting here (this was due to a power outtage at their house that day), and just today (December 12), I went to a Realtor holiday charity thing and Daddy took Dominic to Nana & Nano's house (his parents).

We aren't doing any formula yet, though, and I'm glad we haven't had to. So far, the only things that have passed his lips are breastmilk and a couple of milligrams of "cherry flavored" baby Tylenol from the day after his shots. Once during a day of particularly out-of-control spit up, I allllllllmost gave him some of the tummy drops, but I held out and we haven't had to try them yet.

When can I babysit? :-)
Dominic is blessed with so much great family who a) love him enough to give up their afternoon or evening to watch him, and b) love me enough to encourage me to get out of the house for an adult activity now and then. Truthfully, while I have enjoyed my moments "out", I really do miss Dominic. But I know that not only are the babysitters probably enjoying themselves (maybe more than I can when I'm away from him), it's probably also good for his development to be separated from me for a while. boo hoo!

I know I have been guilty of letting him sleep on my lap or in my arms when I probably should be putting him down in his crib so he learns that's where sleeping takes place. Sorry but I can't resist now and then!

It has taken me a couple of days to get to finishing this entry, so now it's 12:14am on 12/14, and later today a group of us will be seeing the Radio City Rockettes' Christmas show. Nana is planning to come to the house to hang out with Daddy for that babysitting job.

Do you have any nicknames for Dominic?
Of course! Cupcake, sweet pea, cachetes (pronounced ka-CHE-tess, meaning "big cheeks" in Spanish), big boy, big D, precious angel, mister man, angel boy, and a slew of other names as the inspiration hits us.

Gram calls him sweet plum, peanut blossom, and other things. Nana and Nano call him poo-poos or poops, but somehow it works. For some reason, my dad (Granddaddy) wants to call him Dewey. He says he had a sweet friend in gradeschool named Dewey, and with initials like DEU, it seems appropriate. Ok.. I guess. :-)

Oh, you meant like do we have a short version of Dominic that we call him? No. We call him Dominic. But some of our friends are saying they are going to call him Dom or Nick. Personally, I'd rather him be called Don or Donny before Dom or Nick, but people are going to call him whatever they are. Some people say it will be hard for him to spell his whole name on his early papers because there are so many letters... and hard with both an m and an n. But I bet he learns it quickly. Or maybe he will just write Don, which is what his great-grandfather was called, after whom he got his name.

(When) Are you going back to work?
Technically, I sort of am doing some work (admittedly not much since my mom and Eddie work on my real estate team and both are picking up the slack and working double duty so I can be with Dominic.) Eddie has taken over my out-with-the-customer roles like open houses and buyer showings, and I have begun to do the things he was doing before... things that can be done in front a computer at home such as setting up our newsletter and other paperwork or vendor interactions. Don't count on me being out with customers until after Christmas, and even then probably not so much that I'm away from Dominic too much.

I've heard from so many parents that these first years are soo precious and soo critical (and soo fleeting) that I'm hoping to be mostly present until Dominic starts school. My mom watched other people's kids, washed other people's windows and laundry, and sold Avon to be able to be with my brother and me during our before-school years, and I know it meant a lot to me. She became a Realtor for a lot of reasons, but one was because she wanted a schedule flexible enough to be there for our bake sales, concerts, games, recitals, and award ceremonies. If I can be half the mom she is, wow... that will be great.

Is he ______ yet?

talking? No words yet but he makes so many different sounds and so often (and carefully studies when the rest of us talk to him) that I bet he will talk early.

getting much 'tummy time'? Any of you who have had a baby probably in the past decade probably have heard this phrase. If your children are older, maybe not. That's because doctors noticed a 40% decline in SIDS (sudden infant death syndrom) deaths when they started instructing parents to make sure their babies sleep on their backs and not on their stomachs, and due to this, a conscious effort must be made to put babies their tummies during waking time to develop their neck and arm muscles and a sense of the-world-from-another-perspective.

That said, Dominic hasn't had much tummy time because he doesn't really like it. Just in the past couple of days, I have decided it's time to make one of those adult decisions and do it anyway even though he cries because it's important for his development. I am already noticing that he cries less each time, so I hope there will be a time when he likes it after all.

rolling over? No sign of this yet.

eating solids? You read above that he is strictly on breastmilk now. Our pediatrician, Dr. Pellman, is recommending to stick with that exclusively until 6 months.

crawling? Actually, in these past couple of days of forced tummy time, during Dominic's ranting and raving, he has managed to scoot himself quite a distance forward.. probably 12 inches in 5 minutes, mainly just by kicking his feet/knees. He still has a long way to go in the upper body department, though, before anyone could call it crawling.

solving quadratic equations? No, not yet~! But we are speaking Spanish to him from time to time, so I hope he is picking some of that up. I plan to put English and Spanish labels on everything soon ("door/puerta") which if it doesn't help him, it will at least help me remember my Spanish vocabulary.. haha!

How IS he?
He's an absolute peach and the love of our lives! Most days, he is really happy, sleeps about half the time and vocalizes and studies the other half. Some days, he fusses and/or sleeps a lot. Yesterday (actually 12/13, since it has taken me 2 days to finish this), he actually cried out in what seemed like pain a few times. Eddie thinks it is bad dreams but I'm hoping it's pain from growing. Nobody wants to think your little baby has anything in his little mind that would give him a bad dream so early in life (if ever, right?)

How is Eddie?
Eddie is the best husband and dad he could be. He reads the books; he changes diapers; he cuddles Dominic and tells him "cariños", which is Spanish for those lovey-dovey little adoring names and conversations you have with someone you love. "Mi corazon, mi cielo... senior cachetes" is an example... that means "my heart, my heaven... mister chubby cheeks". And Eddie takes great care of us. He rubs cream on my feet, brings me a bottle of water, puts up with my feeble attempts at wife-ing, and makes it possible for me to be home.

I hope those of you reading this blog will post comments when you think of them on these posts, and then I can have a new set of FAQ's to answer another day. Thank you again for visiting!

Eureka!!

"I found it"

Uh oh! Looks like Dominic finally figured out that the fist he's been trying to suck on for the past week has some appendages that fit quite nicely in his mouth. Yesterday (December 7 - Pearl Harbor Day - coincidence?) he finally got the thumb, and Daddy and I were afraid he was going to suck it right off his hand! 

The picture at left is dated 12/20, and Dominic is wearing the cutest elf outfit given to him by Auntie Lisa and Uncle Rob Carpentier (ok they are really cousins).  The behind has a trap door that says "B'Jolly"... cuuuute!

Here's some video too. 

Hanging Out in the Park

Monday, 12/3, after making it in to REMAX and back for our company tree-decorating day, Dominic and I decided to take the stroller to the park to finally say hello to the cluster of a dozen or so nannies that gather at lunchtime with a gaggle of kids at the park about 100 yards from our house. The red circle is our house and the red X in the park (when viewed this small looks more like a red blob) is the nanny hangout spot.


We walked near the cluster of nannies and I spread out a blanket on the grass. Some of the nannies looked my way but didn't say hello. Then I took Dominic out of the stroller and put him on the blanket and right away many of the nannies smiled and seemed to warm up a bit. One of them asked me how old he was, and when I said "diez semanas hoy" (ten weeks today), they decided maybe I wasn't so bad after all. Of course, that brought on a flurry of rapid Spanish, which I am not fluent enough to follow at native speed. I learned a couple of names and look forward to seeing them again (and practicing some more Spanish) in the days ahead.

Dominic enjoyed touching grass for the first time.

Here is a picture of Dominic and me on the blanket, and another one of Dominic's view from his vantage point on the blanket. Doesn't he look handsome in his collared shirt (from the tree-decorating party)? Don't I look like I need a little more sleep? Haha.

Dominic's 2-month checkup -and- Hard-stuff Parenting 101

Before I get into the point of the theme of this post, let me just give you a couple of pictures and a little commentary.

Dominic has been doing more and more every day, and smiling and enjoying more activities. Here's Dominic on Daddy's shoulders on Saturday 11/24. We had planned to go to Catalina after Thanksgiving, but the seas got rough so we hung around home and played.

Then on Sunday, Dominic was cooing up a storm. Here, he's dressed all warm from the stroller walk we just took to the park, and he was telling Daddy all about how he'd like to do that again sometime soon. (Ok, that's what we think he was saying.)

On Tuesday night, we went with Gram, Granddaddy and the Etheridge cousins to see the Christmas tree lighting and carol performers in the park across from South Coast Plaza.

Dominic seemed to like "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" the best! (when he wasn't snoozing)

On Wednesday, he was in the best mood ever! But alas, it wasn't to last. It was time for his 2-month checkup, which means lots and lots of shots... yuck!

The good news: He is really healthy and growing big and strong! He is nearly 13 lbs (ok, 2.2oz short: 12lbs 13.8oz)! He is nearly 150% of his birthweight. He has put on 3 inches in length, too. Some of his newborn clothes are already getting too short or too tight. It's exciting but I'm a bit melancholy that we are already saying goodbye to the tiniest version of our baby angel.

Here's a picture of Dr. Pellman examining Dominic. Then... it was time for the batch of vaccinations... a total of 5 shots! Thanks to an experimental version of one of the vaccines, we were able to knock it down to 3 pokes, but he still hated it. He cried during the shots, but right away he was smiling and cooing and supporting his weight on his legs again. On the way to Gram & Granddaddy's house, a trip we planned so they could help us with what we were expecting would be a cranky feverish Dominic, we started to wonder if we had over-prepared. But then at 4:15pm, he woke himself up from a sound sleep with a bloodcurdling scream of pain from his sore leg muscles. For the next hour he cried bloody murder, and for the following hour, he slept and kept waking up bellowing every time he would make the slightest move of his legs, so we decided to give him his first dose of baby Tylenol ever. Afterward, we measured his temp at 100.4. Awwww! Gram's awesome snuggly hugs and singing were the only things that could console him.

We thought sure it would be a loooooong night, but he ended up sleeping great. His fever actually increased to 101.9 after the Tylenol wore off, but with another dose it decreased under 101. This morning, he had stopped freaking out every time he moved his legs.

So today, we decided to accompany Daddy to the Brea Mall and walk around and do Christmas shopping while Daddy got his hair cut. Dominic really enjoyed the lights and sounds of the mall despite his slight lingering temperature. (Here's Dominic checking out the food court with Nana.)

I consider each of these events some introductory lessons to the challenges of parenting. The way I see it, there are several things to consider when you're deciding a course of action for your child: what God wants (not always readily apparent, but if you can figure it out is clearly always what you should do), what you want, what your spouse wants, what the child wants, what various other family/friends/onlookers want, and then what is the healthy thing to do. Then you make your decision based on those factors.

For example: When we were leaving the mall, Dominic was tired and cranky and really just wanted to be cuddled. Lord knows cuddling him is certainly what I wanted to do! And for a brief moment, I was tempted to just hold him (and kiss him and kiss him) in my lap for the drive home and say balderdash to the carseat. But that would have been really irresponsible, even though it is what both he and I wanted. No matter how careful we were on the drive home, some fool could run a red light and then I'd be really glad Dominic was strapped into his seat.

Earlier at Dr. Pellman's, I wanted to just explain that we'd be really careful and make sure Dominic doesn't get exposed to polio or rubella or whatever else he was needing a vaccine for. I didn't want him to have to go through that pain, and he certainly was in agreement with me! But again, that would not have been prudent, to quote a famous comedian quoting our former President.

Even earlier, when we went to the tree-lighting show... well, I probably sort of failed that test. It was chilly and late. Eddie was hungry and wouldn't be able to eat until after the show. But I wanted to go, and Gram and the girls wanted me to go and to bring Uncle Eddie and Dominic. So we went. Now, I'm not going to say we didn't have a good time because we did... even Dominic and Daddy. But it was something that a better parent may have decided to save for next year when Dominic might be able to enjoy it more. It's so hard to say no! Especially when you have such great and loving company!

But there was one time when all the planets lined up and what I wanted is what he wanted is what Daddy wanted and was the healthy thing and likely what God wanted us to be doing, and that was the fun time we had just being a family and playing together at home. My best memories of childhood are of that very thing. (Thanks, Mom and Dad!)

So I'm going to thank God for those times it's easy because what we should do is exactly what we all want to do. And I'm going to try to keep my eyes open for those moments I should decide to put God's will and the healthy/smart thing above my own wishes... and Dominic's wishes. I'm sure it's only going to get more difficult, but God and Daddy (I mean Eddie) and my other earthly angels will help me. And perhaps those of you reading this will say a quick prayer for me to get most things right. :-)

Ode to Family

This so should have been my first post. But it's appropriate that it is going up for Thanksgiving. I am long overdue in doing a tribute to Dominic's extended family. From the first day, we have had so much support and help that it's about time I gave these Earthly Angels a mention.

My mom: Martie Etheridge ("Gram"). All I can say is wow. Did you know that even though Gram was there right from the moment Dominic made his appearance in the delivery room, she didn't get to hold him until he was 3 days old? You know WHY? Because her daugher (me) was so paranoid about making sure everyone ELSE got their turn that I never realized she hadn't got hers. And my mom just waited patiently and didn't swoop in and take over. Nope. She cooked a huge stroganoff dinner for everyone for Dominic's homecoming, and I never offered for her to hold the baby. What a louse I am! Even then, Mom spent 5 nights in our guest room, waking up every two hours to help me (finally getting a chance to hold him). I felt bad to be disturbing her and tried to do it myself and send her back to bed, but I bet she would've loved it if I would have let her fuss over her first grandson (and her own baby, me), even if it was 3am.

She has really used AMAZING restraint... she has so much wonderful insight and so much wonderful experience, yet she tries so hard to let me find my own way. When she makes a suggestion, I often retort with some anecdote I read in a book or something one of the "experts" has said about knocking down an "old-fashioned" technique. Yet, she keeps coming, keeps helping, keeps loving me and trying to give me some confidence as a mother myself. How on earth can I ever thank her enough? I thank God that she is here and I pray she will be here long after Dominic has his own children to help me learn to be as fantastic, patient, and inspiring of a Grandmother as she is. Here is Mom giving Dominic his first full bottle, which was November 6. Isn't she beautiful? Even moreso inside than out.

My mother-in-law: Cleo Masingill ("Nana"). She has seriously been here sweeping up dog hair and making sure I am eating probably 3 times a week since Dominic's arrival. She loves Dominic so much, and it shows. She changes him and holds him and pushes him around the house in the bassinette. She worries he is warm enough. And she, too, puts up with me and tries not to tell her opinions but bites her tongue and just waits to be asked.

One day, Dominic was going through a "growth spurt" where he was eating and eating (and throwing up and throwing up) voraciously for like 6 hours. When Eddie called to see how I was doing, I tried to sound like I had it all together on the phone, but Eddie saw right through me. He asked if I wanted him to call someone to help me, but I said no NO! About 10 minutes later, Cleo called, saying she "just happened to be in the area" (which is actually about 40 minutes from her home in Buena Park... hmmm). And she and Eddie's sister, Maryke, came over and sat with the baby while I showered and ate. I'm so blessed to know I can count on my own mother and father to deal with my idiosyncracies, but it is a really wonderful feeling to know the in-laws will come to my rescue, too.

My brother and sister-in-law: Uncle John & Auntie Karla Etheridge. As if raising 3 perfect Angel girls wasn't enough of a gift from them to the human race, these guys see to it that I have lots of encouragement, extra hands, and an invitation to dinner anytime I need them. The other night when Eddie was away at an SC game for dinnertime, they invited me for brisket. Due to my ill-planned feed-and-leave timing, I arrived an hour after dinner was to have started. There was dinner, all Saran-wrapped with love, waiting for me, and the whole Etheridge family welcomed me with open arms rather than being bent out of shape for my tardiness. Anyone can tell Karla is dying to hold Dominic whenever she sees him, but if she has even the slightest sniffle, she restrains herself to keep him safe. Karla has also had the magic touch when it comes to working on Dominic accepting a pacifier. And John always has some little kernel to feed my soul.. some word to prop me up so I can make another run at parenting as well as he and Karla have. The support from both of them means so much.

The Grandpas: My dad, Johnny Etheridge ("Granddaddy") and Eddie's stepdad, Jim Masingill ("Nano"). Not only do these guys put up with their wives being MIA, sacrificing their own dinners, home maintenance, and movie dates so the Grandmas can feed me and clean my house, but they themselves are over here constantly making sure Eddie and I and our new little boy have everything working right and all our dreams coming true. Just a few days ago, I had complained to my dad about a gross tree we have in our back yard and the next thing I know, a beautiful avocado tree appeared, soon to be transplanted into the twisted tree's vacant spot. And just today, Jim was stapling up lights to our patio cover to make sure our Thanksgiving would glitter just perfectly. They, together, made sure the downstairs bathroom remodel got finished before Dominic arrived. And both of them are such doting Grandpas to little Baby D! Most of all, they give the most loving hugs and look with loving eyes that make me feel safe and cherished. (By the way, Jim wanted me to mention that Dominic was able to be sleeping comfortably in this picture because by this moment in the the Thanksgiving Day USC football game, the Trojans were well ahead of the Arizona State Sun Devils.)

The Etheridge Cousins: Kaylin, Kira & Karoline. These guys are tempted to fight over who gets to hold Dominic first, last, longest, etc. But instead, they cooperate and take some of the pressure off me to keep things fair and decide. I wonder if they can fully grasp how helpful it is to me for them to be so nice to each other? With Dominic, they are so attentive, careful, and above all, near-perfect examples of sweetness and respect that I hope he will emulate. My favorite thing of all is how they actually run to kiss and greet me whenever I see them. There's not much can make a person feel better than that enthusiastic, warm reception. And we never part without all three making a special effort to kiss me, Uncle Eddie, and Dominic and to say "I love you."

Kaylin is nearly babysitting age, and she is very responsible and detailed so I know she will be a fantastic sitter when the time comes. She is always helping the other girls with pointers on how to position their arms to keep his head supported and all.

Kira can't take her eyes off Dominic whenever he's around her. She always asks to hold him, and she looks deeply into his eyes in what seems to be true love whenever she does get a turn. But when the answer has to be no and she can't hold him for whatever reason, she never pouts. She is always understanding and patient for her next opportunity.

Karoline is not only a great cousin to Dominic, holding him and pushing the stroller very carefully when it's her turn, but she is also tuned into Aunt Maggie (that's me) and is always looking for ways to do helpful things for me. She massages my shoulders and arms; she carries a bag I may be struggling with; she runs to get me a glass of water when I'm immobilized feeding Dominic. Really, all of the girls have been taught so well to unselfishly put their attention to others, and it makes them a sheer joy to be around (whether I'm getting fussed over myself or whether they are fussing over someone else). Totally gives me hope in their generation.

My sister-in-law (Eddie's little sister), Maryke Santizo ("Tia Nini"). Maryke often appears with Cleo to take care of Dominic so I can rest. She never seems to mind that the minute she arrives, she often gets saddled with diaper duty. She has the unique perspective on life with Eddie, and her stories and insights always help me appreciate him more. Like my own brother, Maryke always has something encouraging to say, and those comments boost my confidence and help me keep a positive attitude when I'm running on less sleep than I need. And like my sister-in-law, Karla, Maryke has a remarkable delicate and loving demeanor when she's holding the little prince.

There are lots of other family that I should mention, but if I kept typing until everyone who helped, cooked, visited or sent advice, wishes, or gifts was represented, then this entry would never get posted. All of you who read this, please do know how much your love, support, encouragement and time has meant to Eddie, me, and baby Dominic. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Dominic's Coo Coo (NOT "Dominic is Cuckoo"!)

Dominic is really doing a lot of talking! Ok, not necessarily talking as you and I do, but making lots of different sounds and getting to know how his mouth and tongue work. Here's an example. Sorry it's sideways, but I can't figure out how to make a video rotate.

The Contingent Mobile

On Halloween, my friend Heidi gave me a book she had read during her daughters' toddling years called "Baby Minds". I haven't got through the whole book yet, but what I've read so far has been very interesting. One story was about how babies love to realize they have some control over their environment, and one way they suggest to help them is to set up a "contingent mobile". You know the little mobile over baby's crib that plays music and turns around? Well, they suggest that you attach that to baby's leg or arm with a soft ribbon and rather than use the crank to move the mobile, let the baby do it. The mobile's movement is contingent on the baby's action.

So I attach his leg to the mobile with my bathrobe belt. And sure enough, in no time he has figured out how to get the mobile to move. Seems like he's having fun, huh?


Speaking of Halloween, here is a picture of our little "sweet pea" with Daddy as pea farmer...














And here is a picture of the Etheridge cousins and Heidi's girls with Dominc at the Downtown HB Halloween Street Faire.


And another of Dominic's Gram & Granddaddy working the REMAX booth at the Faire. It's easy to see how Dominic turned out so cute with such cute grandparents! :-)

A Couple of Pictures

This is sort of a strange picture to be posting first - I mean the first picture should probably be just the Cupcake himself in some cute outfit with his eyes open and a cooing expression, right? But I thought this might be a good one since we're sort of on the middle-of-the-night feedings subject. This photo was taken the night between 11/8 and 11/9, which was the night I got 6 hours and 11 minutes sleep. It's a self portrait of Dominic and me at a moment I wanted to remember forever. You can't tell my left arm is up taking the picture, huh! This was one of those moments my heart was about to burst out of my chest. I guess that feeling of nirvana is part of what happens after a nearly full night's sleep. Haha.

Tonight, Dominic actually has slept great, from 10:30pm to 2:45! So I did pretty well executing the sequence without any forgotten steps -- due to the over 4 hours of sleep that has tuned up my brain perhaps?

I didn't make any entry at 2:45 because I was busy reading my friend Bianka's blog (check it out here). She had her baby last night in Florida and the first pictures are already up! I've been absolutely riveted by her blog - she's a really fantastic writer which I'm sure you'll agree if you check it out.

I will add one more picture before I go hit the hay. This is from our first trip to Sears photo studio:

I need to figure out if I can get this picture to show up statically at the top of the blog. Maybe after a little more sleep.

Thank you again for stopping by!

The Wakeup Sequence

Ok. (Why do I feel lke starting every post with "ok"? Hopefully I don't start every conversation that way...) it's 3:42am. That was just about 2 hours to the minute from when he stopped eating. I must admit, I thought it would be a short sleep because it didn't seem like he ate much last time.

In case you're interested what the routine is, here's the sequence:

I awake to the sound of a tiny disturbance in the rhythm of Dominic's breathing, which 8 weeks ago I would've easily slept through but today might as well be the sound of a 747 landing on my head. I lay there, my eyes like saucers, listening for the next sound, hoping it will be something between nothing (which means I have to hope that I'm actually competent at baby-CPR from simply reading/memorizing the instructions from one of the zillion pregnancy books I read) and a whimper (which means I have to get up and feed him). What I'm wishing for as I lay there is for the breathing to return to its normal rhythm and after that, the superhuman ability to fall back to sleep instantly from this state of possible emergency. I get the whimper. Rats!

I look at the clock. Well, I'm supposed to remember to look at the clock but I frequently don't. So yesterday I just moved it for the 75th time to another new place in the bedroom hoping that I will actually be able to see it from wherever I am when I realize I forgot. After I look at the clock, which I remembered this time, I try to remember what time it was when he stopped eating last. 2 hours. Darn. The calculation goes like this: if less than 1.5 hours, I begin hoping the whimper goes away and start worrying why does he need to eat so soon if it doesn't go away. If greater than 3 hours, I say quick prayer of thanks to God for such a long rest and continue the wakeup sequence. If between 1.5 and 3 hours, I say quick prayer of thanks to God that Dominic is still breathing, adding request for next sleep to exceed 3 hours, and continue wakeup sequence.

Next, I go to the bathroom. That is, I go if I remember to go before I pick Dominic up from the bassinette. Are you starting to see a pattern? It seems that even though I've been going through this sequence what feels like 10,000 times since 7 weeks ago, I still manage to forget at least one of the steps. Sleep deprivation? Hormones (or lack thereof)? Senility? This shall be one of the questions I ask God if we get to ask questions in Heaven.

It seems that Dominic's hearing is just as bionic as mine has become, for with the first tiny rustle of the comforter as I move to make my way from the bed to the bathroom, his whimper increases. (My theory is that the increase is what makes me forget to go.) After my restroom break, which these days the experience is just beginning to show signs of returning to normal, I try to remember to stop at the sink, fill the water glass, and carry it to the end table Eddie has set up as my feeding station before picking up Dominic. I remember to do this about 33% of the time.

Slippers on, water at the ready, I put on my glasses (this is the step I forgot this time), put a ponytail in my hair (another frequently forgotten step) and then pick up the now-squirming Angel from Heaven. "Dang, he is cute," I think to myself, "even in this pitch blackness!" We walk from my bedroom to his bedroom trying not to wake Daddy. (Tonight, Daddy is in Las Vegas for the N.A.R. convention, his first night away from the Cupcake, so I didn't have to worry about that.) As I place him on the changing table pad, he begins to remember we have this diaper-changing pit stop before mealtime, and he starts to cry. I've tried everything to stop this cry, which usually only happens during nighttime feedings, but to no avail. Talking or singing to him, leaving his blanket around his upper half, picking him back up for a moment, playing with his feet... everything I've tried so far just seems to increase the volume, probably because all are just postponing mealtime further. I'm hoping he'll someday appreciate that meals are a lot more enjoyable when your bottom is clean, but for now, I just hope the neighbors are insulated from his hysteria.

Once the diaper is changed and I pick him up, the cries vanish in exchange for him beginning to nuzzle and sometimes suck on whatever of my skin is most handy: arm, neck, etc. It is usually right about this second that I realize I forgot to go to the bathroom, if I forgot, so I ask myself if I should set him back in the bassinette and go (and thus bring on a cry that could wake the dead) or just try to tough it out until he's done eating. At this moment, I usually don't have to go very badly, so I usually decide to tough it out, forgetting (yes, there it is again) that I will likely regret this decision in about 10 seconds.

I carry the nuzzler to the reclining chair. I sit, attempting to get the feeding pillow thingie (called "My Brest Friend") situated around me with one hand as I hold him with the other. The pillow thing is really a 2-handed job (note to self: attempt to invent a 1-handed breastfeeding pillow), so sometimes it ends up on the floor. In this case, I have to do one of those deep knee bends with the 12-lb Angel that I hope is a) giving me the great legs that I hope will go with the svelt figure that I hope the breastfeeding is giving me, and b) adding years to my life so I can live to see Dominic married and have a grandchild even though I waited until I was an ancient relic to have him. Dominic's sense that eating is imminent is beginning to transform him into a panting, squirming pirana. So I click the pillow fastener, prepare the "head side" by putting a small pillow under it and placing a clean cloth diaper on top to catch milk dribbles or attacks of spit-up, position him, wrestle his bottom arm out of the way to down between my stomach and his, and get him latched on before the transformation is complete. Those of you who know me know that I am not exactly the fastest gun in the west, so the latch-on often resembles the scene in Jurassic Park where the T-Rex ravenously chomps down on the outhouse with the attorney in it. 2 seconds of excruciating pain later, all is well! Dominic and mommy are both happy!

That is, until I realize I forgot to look at the clock and can't see it (seems I have that problem licked with the new clock location, though). Or that I forgot my glasses (which will explain why this post might have some severe typos in it). Or that I realize I really do have to go to the bathroom after all. Or that I forgot the water glass. Or that I forgot something else that is now about 1/2 inch beyond my reach. Nevertheless, I usually manage to fight off the frustration with the feeling that can only come from snuggling with a living, breathing gift from God. I thank God again for this amazing opportunity and, being the overemotional schlub that I am, I struggle not to cry with joy as I pray.

I still can't believe this is real.

Dominic has been finished eating for nearly an hour now, so that means I'm missing that all-important sleep time. Guess I'd better sign off. Wish me 3+ hours before the next entry!

Welcome!

Welcome!

Ok. Welcome anyone and everyone to my first blog. My name is Maggie and this blog is all about life in the Ureno family with our new son, Dominic Edward. Dominic (a.k.a. Cupcake, Big D, Baby D, Mr. Man, Precious Angel, Mr. Grunts [sung to the Grinch theme song], and a myriad of other names he will not likely allow us to continue past his 4th birthday) arrived on September 24, 2007, at 10:24pm (9/24 at 10:24... coincidence?), which makes him 7 weeks and 2 days old today (if we are counting today as Wednesday, November 14.. which it is.. except that it is only 1:26am right now which means my body still considers that it is "Tuesday night".

I figured that the best time to make blog entries will be during these middle-of-the-night feedings. Then when Dominic figures out that nighttime is for sleeping, I'll have to figure out some other plan for making entries.. most likely during daytime feedings since typing on the computer is one of the only productive things I can do while feeding him (thanks to this handy computer desk my parents presented me with that has the perfect shape to snuggle up to the round nursing pillow thingie). Ok, if Eddie was reading over my shoulder I think he would say that feeding our son is pretty productive. What I meant was that computer typing is the only other productive thing I can do while engaged in the productive activity of feeding the Angel from Heaven.

Ok now he is done eating for the moment so I'd better go for now because, while it is tempting to sit here and try to type 7 weeks of catch up info, I know I most likely have 2-4 hours of sleep time starting when he stops, so I have to go for it when I can! So I will make another post later... maybe as late as 5:30am! Wow that would be great! (Incidentally, the longest he has gone without eating so far is 6 hours and 11 minutes. Ok that's the last thing I'm saying and now time for sleeping!)

Thank you so much for stopping by and I hope you enjoy the adventures of Discovering Dominic with Eddie and me.