See You in Heaven

Once, when Dominic was only a few days old, he was having trouble falling asleep after a late-night feeding.  I had been cautioned to lay him only on his back to reduce the risk of SIDS, but Dominic kept wanting to curl onto his side to sleep.  I would dutifully roll him back onto his back and then cinch in his receiving blanket on both sides so he pretty much couldn't move onto his side, but he was just crying and fussing.  The idea came to me that maybe I should let him be on his side... sure, I wouldn't sleep because I'd be sitting there watching his little chest rise and fall, ready to give CPR should the dreaded SIDS make an appearance, but at least one of us would get a little shut-eye.  

As I released the tension on the blanket and Dominic made himself comfortable, an amazing peace came over me.  It was as if God Himself spoke to me saying that He was the one who brought Dominic into my life, and it would be He who decides when we would be separated from each other by death.  I realized that every day - even every breath - we get to share is a gift from God, and that one day one of us would go on and have to wait for the other in Heaven. 

That night I slept like a baby, and the feeling of seeing Dominic alive in the morning absolutely brought tears to my eyes.  It was like giving birth all over again.   My heart almost popped out of my chest at the thought that I get to spend some more time with my Baby Angel.

Those of you in Southern California may remember last February the funeral of the first SWAT officer to be killed in the line of duty in L.A. named Randall ("Randy") Simmons.  I've been inspired by the speech that his 15 year old son gave at the funeral in which he told of how his father would always say his daily goodbyes as if they would be his last, thanking God for the time they had together and promising to meet them in Heaven if he didn't live to see them again. 

So every night since hearing young Mr. Simmons' tell the story of his father's goodbyes, when I lay Dominic in his bed, and when I go into his room in the morning and find him alive, I pray, 

"Thank you, Jesus, for another day together!  I pray we please get another one tomorrow!  But if not, I'll see you in Heaven, Dominic!"

I hope I continue to pray that prayer long after Dominic has grown up and started his own family.  I hope he comes to understand just how grateful I am to God for the wonderful gift that is him, and for every minute I get to spend with him.  I'm sure there will be days when we will frustrate each other, and I hope on those days the feeling of that moment of waking up so thrilled that both of us are alive to enjoy another day will return to me... and maybe Dominic can share that feeling then, too.